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Maybe in order for things to be “fixed” they have to sometimes first be broken. As I have pondered this thought and how it fits into my own life, I wonder also how it may be fitting for the refugees I serve. What if some people need to fall to the bottom, fail, lose it all, struggle beyond their own ability to help themselves? What if they need to completely surrender and wave their white flag in order to be free, healed, pulled back together or “fixed”. What if some people need to get to a place where they let go of their pride, admit they need help, have the guts to ask for the help they need and then open themselves up to accept the help offered? How does this fit when working with the poor?

For whatever reason I was born in America. For the most part, I would be considered wealthy in the eyes of those born in third world countries. I can’t help it that I was born into a life of wealth and education no more than they can help it that they were born in poverty and therefore lack educational resources. It seems that though I may be considered rich, I still ultimately desire and need the same thing a poor person needs…love. Yes, L-O-V-E, which includes self worth, value, security, acceptance, etc. (Of course I need food, water and shelter too, but I’m interested in discussing love).

For a refugee, one might wonder how do I attain love in a world that seems to be so full of destruction, disease, hunger, terror, persecution, war and hate? As an American, I may wonder how I can attain love in my world that is so full of things like addictions, divorce, illness, abuse, abandonment, idolization, hatred, financial disaster, neglect and selfishness?

I believe that there is only one perfect love and that’s the love of Jesus. I also believe that every person will struggle to feel loved until they sincerely connect to the perfect love of Jesus. No matter what causes the separation from a person knowing and trusting in the love of Jesus it all seems to have the same end result. We all end up needing to surrender our everything in order to attain true perfect love (Jesus) But are we willing to let go of it all, whatever little or lot that we have that is truly nothing much at all to Him? In order to be “fixed” no matter our color, social or political status, financial status, culture or religion…we all end up needing to be willing to lose it all (and some of us may literally need to lose it all). God bless the broken roads that lead us straight to…Him! No matter how we end up broken in this world both rich or poor it seems we all become broken in some way or another.

So what if I am in the way of someone needing to be broken for Jesus? That doesn’t mean I don’t help the poor or the needy or lift a hand to help and encourage the weak. But perhaps it does mean that it’s not always a bad thing to be broken. It might mean that person is on the way to finding their ultimate healing.

I pray that we as Asha’s Refuge volunteers will be careful to ask what a person in need needs and we don’t assume we know their needs and begin to fulfill them the way “we” think they ought to be fulfilled. If we are supposed to be an encouraging hand while a person is wading in the mud then we want to be willing to get a little dirty with them as they find their direction. I pray that our prospective will be given to us by the Holy Spirit and we will know when and in what way is best to help as the healing goes on. You see, whether refugee or American, a person may feel they are in a low spot not realizing they are in a sweet spot to Jesus. Perhaps sometimes we need to just move out of the way so that the brokenness can happen and the real healing can begin.

(Disclaimer: Jesus said to help the poor. But He also said the poor will always be with us. He was and is our example. He served and loved the poor. So this post is NOT suggesting that we do not help those poor who are in need. Questions or comments, send me an email: jamie@ashasrefuge.org).

Hugs and laughs were abundant yesterday as refugee ladies and preschoolers assembled for the last American Life and Language class of the spring term. Along with lots of English practice, we shared a practical and inexpensive way to clean things around the house. Thanks to the generosity of our many church friends, we had plenty of vinegar and spray bottles to prepare homemade safe and effective cleaner. First we ate clementines so that we could add their peels to give the vinegar a better fresh smell. Next we passed around a little cup of vinegar for everyone to dip a finger and taste. While most ladies knew about vinegar, one Burundi lady may not forgive me for the surprisingly sharp taste. Then students used funnel to fill their own bottles with vinegar and a little water. We talked about all sorts of things we can clean in our homes with this little solution such as refrigerators, stoves, windows, mirrors, floors, counters, even fruits and veggies. We also talked about how commercial spray cleaners cost $3-5 and a bottle of vinegar is $1 at Dollar Tree. Our students were pretty impressed with that fact. This project was a fun finish to our spring term, and we thank you for making it possible.

After a short break, we will restart classes June 6 for a 6 week summer session. If you are looking for summer volunteer opportunity, please consider helping us with adults or preschoolers during this period. We’d love to have your help. Field trips for the summer session will be announced soon so please keep an eye on our website for future announcements.

Over and over we have received a request for laundry detergent from the refugee women we serve. Since many of them still prefer to wash their clothes by hand, liquid detergent is preferred. Soaps and toiletries are not something Food Stamps can buy and most of the families we serve are low on cash. If you are willing to help us provide liquid laundry soap please do not feel like you must get the most expensive name brand detergent but purchase the laundry soap that is most economical. We are looking for bulk here and what gets the job done. We serve many large families and soaps are a continuous need. Some people want to know how many we need; since its a continuous need too many is okay! We serve about 50-60 families. Thank you friends for your help!

I’m reading another book about Mother Teresa. This must be the fourth book or so about her that I’ve read. This woman of God fascinates me. She so loved the poor. She gave up literally everything and devoted herself to loving others as she felt Jesus would do. She led by example and many young and older woman followed her lead even when it meant they had to choose a life of serious poverty for themselves.

There is so much Mother Teresa learned by living on the rough and poor streets of India. One of her biggest hearts desires was to love the unloved especially those who were dying and alone or orphaned. She felt that the greatest poverty was not the lack of things or food but the lack of love. Mother Teresa has quoted much on this:

“The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.”

“Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.”

“Even the rich are hungry for love, for being cared for, for being wanted, for having someone to call their own.”

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

“I try to give to the poor people for love what the rich could get for money. No, I wouldn’t touch a leper for a thousand pounds; yet I willingly cure him for the love of God.”

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

“In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.”

“Intense love does not measure, it just gives.”

“It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish.”

“Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.”

“Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough, money can be got, but they need your hearts to love them. So, spread your love everywhere you go.”

“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.”

“One of the greatest diseases is to be nobody to anybody.”

“Our life of poverty is as necessary as the work itself. Only in heaven will we see how much we owe to the poor for helping us to love God better because of them.”

“The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted.”

“The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.”

“Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work.”

As I continue to serve the least of the least of these in the inner city of Memphis I pray that my heart will melt for their sake and mesh with those I serve. I pray that I will gain understanding and a heart like Jesus so that I too will be able in His power to selflessly serve those who struggle as Mother Teresa did. I am nothing a part from Jesus. It is He in me that causes me to walk into the streets and slum areas of Memphis and see it as a beautiful place with much for me to learn about and lots of hope to share. I pray that I never am too prideful or rich in the worlds eyes that I would be unable to humble myself and touch the face of Jesus or feel his kisses as I openly serve a needy child or family. It is Him I serve and His face I seek to know more.

I am thankful that He provides as He does for Asha’s Refuge. I know He has gifted and blessed others to come along side of Asha’s Refuge to help and I am so thankful for our volunteers and supporters. We, I, need your prayers and love. I ask for love overflowing as I need it to pour out into the sweet struggling, lonely and scared faces I meet. I am so thankful that the love of Jesus is never ending.

Each quarter Asha’s Refuge hosts an orientation meeting. This is a time when all who are interested in helping refugees in our city can come and learn more about it.

You see, we believe the Nations have come to us and we are excited about the opportunities we have to love each person unto Jesus. At the same time, we Americans are growing and learning so much about ourselves and God. It’s truly a blessing on both sides and we want you to be a part of this blessing.

Come today or come to an upcoming orientation. We will share a video, talk about the refugee situation here in Memphis, share some of our experiences, tell how Asha’s Refuge was started, share with you ways you can volunteer and have a time for questions and answers.

There is an Orientation today at 1pm at The Church at Schilling Farms at 1035 Winchester Blvd., Collierville, TN. We look forward to seeing you!

I don’t normally post the comments we receive from our blog site but my friend Caleb (changed name on website for his privacy) asked that I do. This was his unedited comment after my recent post regarding my time spent with him:

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The lady that set me free:

Thank you for reading this, but please don’t stop, at least until I show you were and how she set me free, wanna see?

Read on…

When I first met my now great friend Jamie when she first accidentally showed up at my doorstep – and if you ask my eyes and feelings- I must say I had a very good impression or at least a hunch of something different about her, but because we get most of our judgments and reactions from our experiences and I didn’t meet or knew Jamie at all, she better not know what went on my mind then because it was simply conditioned to think this: oh no yet another robot, wait for the fake smile, after few seconds here it is a wide smile, I tried not to concentrate on what she discussed with the others and instead was waiting for something else to happen: here it is the bogus pray, we prayed but after we discussed my employment issues and she offered to help and left.

Your consciences leaves you with no choice but deeply appreciate and utterly respect a person who helps you, and I bet you know yourselves how immature and ugly you become (and it’s true) to react otherwise, you don’t want to be seen at that territory
only today I realize that at that day I was arrogant, and she didn’t at all deserve the treatment my mind projected on her, or on people like her.
Well of course after that day things changed, and like she said in this blog she one day invited me to talk and drink some coffee – quite a humble move from a classy lady in a “robotic” city like Memphis- but this is not my point;
Ladies and gentlemen Jamie, this young girl who helps others and invites them out to hear their problems did this so even though she HAS A LOT OF PROBLEMS, (I came to know as we opened up), but I have seen myself how life was soo hard on her in the past and right now, but yet I noticed she always was only concerned about others, I felt an urge to look around and find Ms life and punish her for how she treated Jamie.

I started thinking who am I to demand anything from her? I am an adventurer who wasted a lot of opportunities and was yet blessed to realize a dream and migrate to the states; I was always a bachelor single who was never even now responsible for anyone (not that this is wrong – I insist- ), but that people were helping me all along ever since I arrived here and even before, without me helping anyone.
Until this very moment Jamie never asked me back for anything, and I never offered any help or even a gift for her that she definitely deserves, and I don’t even think she noticed..
Jamie bought a classy wallet for me on Wednesday and then she wanted me to go shop for more, so I had to ask myself: at what mark on the scale should I stop demanding more and more from others, (be them family, friends, government or fill in the blank yourself), and disrespecting them for not giving us what they want?
Here is when I was set free .. When I realized that that mark on the scale was the very first one, remember when Jamie showed up on my doorstep, and smiled?

I should have been grateful …..
I don’t know you all but we all know Jamie, and I wrote this page today to urge all of us to think about Jamie, to thank her for what she is doing, to look after her and stand for her, ask her what she needs and whatever it is It shouldn’t be hard for all of us to provide .. after all she is just one standing for so many.

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Thank you Caleb! Your writing is beautiful and I appreciate your friendship too. We are still working on helping you connect to a good job.

Today I took a friend out for coffee/tea. He is from Sudan. As I sat sipping my warm Chai Tea Latte and talking to him I knew the time we spent talking about American ways and life was something he very much appreciated and found joy in. It was great for me to get to share my thoughts and ideas regarding the refugee situation here in Memphis and even greater for me to hear and learn from his personal experiences. I’ll call this gentleman Caleb.

Caleb wants an American name anyways. After hearing his story, I cannot say as I blame him or doubt his reasoning. He’s not trying to hide who he is. As a matter of fact he’s bold vocally about his hearts changes and understandings about who God is to him. Caleb is smart and carries himself very educated and well mannered. He speaks three languages fluently and writes in about five or six. Caleb always thinks outside the box and wants to help me with the work I do. He was once a very rich man and now has been financially ruined because of unfortunate political mishaps out of his control. He knows what money can buy and he now knows what it’s like to have nothing. He will not ask for things to help himself; he’s humble, hopeful and wants to work and earn what he needs on his own. Caleb is single and alone walking and thinking a lot but has not allowed himself to become overly bitter or cold hearted towards the cruel world around him that tries to keep him in a cycle of oppression. He is beginning more and more to understand that so many people just don’t understand. Caleb and I spoke about forgiveness and how Jesus cried out, “Forgive them Father, for they do not understand“. Caleb forgives.

Someone who has always experienced financial riches and wealth CANNOT truly understand what it’s like to be in the shoes of a poor man. And, a poor man CANNOT understand what’s its truly like to be rich. The rich have their problems and so often the more they have the more obstacles they have in the way of them seeing God at all. The poor have their problems and so often (as Caleb stated) they grow bitter and struggle to love others and neglect the love of God.

I love to do life among the poor and am truly blessed each time I intertwine my life with theirs. I don’t see them as poor though and don’t like to label them this way…I see them as rich in many ways I am not. As I continue to make great friends of those that have different cultural experiences and different life challenges, I pray my eyes, ears and heart are open wide. I pray for God’s wisdom to not miss a lesson I need to know to be a better me and to exhibit my best in Christ to others. ALL others!! (All different kinds of people). I like what Mother Teresa said, “We do not want to do what other religious orders have done throughout history, and begin by serving the poor only to end up unconsciously serving the rich. In order to understand and help those who have nothing, we must live like them…the only difference is those people are poor by birth, and we are poor by choice.” (Mother Teresa’s Authorized Biography). Being at a ground level with struggling refugees who have come to America to start their lives over is a challenging, humbling, life changing and blessed thing. I know I and many of the volunteers at Asha’s Refuge grow closer to God because of these experiences. There is always something new to learn. I personally want to aim to serve ALL people unto Jesus though…rich, poor or in the middle. I believe with all my heart it’s kinda done the same way…just love.

Asha’s Refuge will be working towards a two day a week one to one teaching and mentoring plan. This will enable us to be better at getting closer to the hearts needs of each individual refugee as well as be personally blessed by building hopefully lasting relationships between volunteers and refugee students. Both sides, refugee and volunteer, will learn from one another. We will need lots of volunteers willing to organize, help and be blessed. If you speak English and love Jesus, you are qualified. Please let us know if you want to know more about how you can help.

By the way, Caleb and I spoke a lot today about resumes and various American business etiquette and application procedures. He knows we Americans have our way of doing things and wants to understand this enough to land a job that will allow him not to have to depend on government assistance. Remember, he’s educated and was very wealthy at one time in his country. He’s had about 5-6 years of college but under the difficult circumstances he never was able to graduate with a degree. He needs a job and is eager and willing to start from the bottom of a good company, be trained and learn more. Three hour online job applications are complicated and questions are often misinterpreted and confusing. He does speak great English and completes these but has not felt confident about his ability to express to others in America who he is on paper or through a computer question and answer session. If you are an employer looking to to fill a position Caleb might be your answer. Please contact me at jamie@ashasrefuge.org and thank you!

It’s been a while since I have had the time to update our blog posts. There has been a lot going on with Asha’s Refuge. I’ve sent out a couple of email flyers regarding the need for preschool age clothing, non-perishable food items and help with packaging vitamin fortified macaroni dinners. We have received a lot of clothing but still could use a lot more. We definitely could use more non-perishable food help. Packaging the macaroni dinners went well and I want to tell everyone more about that.

Asha’s Refuge teamed up with Serving in Christ Outreach Ministries and Outreach Ministries to package 2,500 macaroni dinners. These are not just regular macaroni dinners though. They are meals that contain vitamins and nutrients that can really give a previously malnourished refugee body the head start on the nutrition it needs. We plan to hand these meals out by the Easter weekend along with additional healthy foods such as oranges, apples, juice and hopefully Juice Plus Whole Fruits and Vegetable Tablets (sort of like a daily vitamin but maybe better). We will focus on teaching our refugee students and children about the importance of good nutrition by eating healthy foods. Our prayer is also that we can share about the all sustaining bread of life — Jesus!

If you can assist us with collecting additional nutritional food items please let us know. We hope to have these items by Wednesday, March 27, 2013. We want to thank Outreach Ministries for providing the healthier macaroni dinners. We also thank Serving in Christ Outreach Ministries who will continue to partner with us to feed those in need.

We sent an email flyer out several days ago regarding a clothing need for the preschool aged children we serve. We cannot post pictures or specific names on our website because we want to protect the privacy of our clients, but there have been a few of the mothers in our American Life and Language Classes to request our help in providing clothing for their children.

Asha’s Refuge has about 8-10 rotating preschool aged children who often come to our classes with shoes that are too big, no socks, no coat and clothes that are too big or too small. The families we serve find it difficult to financially support all of the needs they have since they are so often without jobs or the job skills and transportation needed to have a job. Asha’s Refuge has been working to help educate the adults with the language, job and life skills necessary for the families to resettle more successfully but this will take a lot of time and effort on both parts. In the mean time, we want to show the love of Christ to our friends by helping to provide clothing.

We need like new or new children’s clothing from size 2T to 7/8. If you can help us collect these items, please let us know. Contact me via email at jamie@ashasrefuge.org. You are also very welcome to drop it off on my front porch if you know where I live or put it in my church lobby (The Church at Schilling Farms, 1035 Winchester Blvd., Collierville, TN) by our Asha’s Refuge ministry table. Thank you in advance for your generosity, kindness and love.