Tomorrow Asha’s Refuge will speak to a group of moms from a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group at Central Church in Collierville. This group of moms has supported us for about a year now. They have consistently provided newborn welcome baby diaper bags filled with baby gifts to help out new refugee mothers. They have provided boxes of toiletries, car seats, strollers, Kroger Gift Cards, clothing and a variety of other refugee family needs. We are thankful and excited for another invitation to come share what’s going on with refugees in our city and how Asha’s Refuge wants to continue to link hearts and hands with other churches to help.

I’m excited that I will be taking one of my refugee friends with me to meet some of the mothers of preschoolers. My friend is from Tanzania. She lived in a refugee camp for over thirty years before she and her children made their way to the United States. Her life has been difficult. She has four children. One of her children unexpectantly developed a disability after age five that makes her unable to eat, walk, talk or do much of anything on her own. The challenges that my friend faces while being a single mother to four children and one with such disabilities are great. She has never been educated and doesn’t speak English.

Anyways, I’m excited about bringing my friend tomorrow and hope it all works out with her pick up in the morning (hope everything was translated correctly to her about our meeting tomorrow).

Deborah and I are thankful that MOPS Central and Central Church continues to help us help the sweet refugee families we meet. We cannot do it on our own and very much need the help and encouragement of others. Asha’s Refuge isn’t ours, it’s a picture of the hands and feet of Christ all working together for His sake. And together, we know God will make away. Thanks again Central Church Collierville for your open hearts like Jesus ready and willing to offer help, hope and love.

The past couple of days have been busy with doctors appointments for Garna (name is changed for her privacy). She was happy to get to go to special doctors who would hopefully be able to repair the damage done from a terrible car accident she was in while she was in Africa in 1992. One entire side of her body was damaged in the accident and has a lot of weakness. Her leg and most of her foot on that side today has no feeling in it. The doctors in Africa actually wanted to amputate her leg but Garna’s family wouldn’t let them. Garna is happy she still has her leg because she can still stand on it with her tip toe (since that side if her body is raised higher because of the hip displacement) to push off of and walk. She doesn’t mind having to walk slow nor the limp she has because she has dealt with it now for twenty years and its just sort of normal for her.

Garna doesn’t let her injury slow her down as she has consistently provided help and love to a jillion others in her community in need as a mother would. She cooks meals for and assists a lot of single young refugee girls in difficult situations. She helps young refugee mothers all the time. Garna has been helping others her whole life. She was recognized as a leader and helper even in the Uganda Refugee Camp. (She still wants to go back and help her friends who she feels she left behind in a few areas of Africa in which she lived).

The past couple of days, however, Garna has looked forward to having a chance to see if the car wreck damage to her body could finally be repaired. Her feet have been getting cold in the colder weather. She says the cold weather causes her bones to have an even more difficult time trying to function with the poor walking condition she is in. The damaged leg and foot isn’t as long to the ground as the good foot is so she has to arch her foot to stand on her tip toe to move. The arched foot has been arched so long to help her walk that it is now permanently disfigured with an arch. The arched foot will not slide into a shoe and stays cold when the weather is cold. Socks are slippery (even the grip socks) and do not work well out doors. We will be looking for something creative for Garna to wear as socks and shoes to keep her feet warm as she tries to walk about.

Collectively, the doctors we have met the past few days have not recommended surgery for Garna. Since her foot has been damaged for so long the nerves have died and it could even be dangerous for Garna to go through as difficult of a foot and leg surgery as needed. The hip doctor was ready to do the hip surgery but said the feet would be important to take care of first because if he were to straighten the hip her shorter foot would then become longer than the good foot to the ground because of its permanent arch. Both surgeries were not recommended for Garna yesterday and that was kind of sad and also a relief for her. She was disappointed on one end but happy to not have to go through extensive and scary surgery.

So we will be looking for some special shoes. The foot doctor didn’t have any recommendations. Garna actually left the doctor with a large foot sandal on the good foot because it had recently sustained an injury from a fall she had in her apartment. Garna’s good leg takes a lot and can often cause her pain. Perhaps a good supportive walking shoe would be best for her good foot and some sort of sock with a flexible plastic sole footing on the other. Asha’s Refuge will want to help Garna purchase this special sock/shoe arrangement as her finances are very low since she is currently unable to work. If you would like to help us provide footwear for Garna, please let us know.

Today is Thursday. That means we have our American Life and Language classes (ALL) and I am looking forward to them. I am thankful to all the volunteers that are committed to teaching, mentoring and helping the many refugee families that come to us for assistance. God has brought together a team that is uniquely designed for this kind of work. I wouldn’t have been able to do it myself.

Our volunteers come from all different churches and we work well together because we have one common goal and that is to love and serve others as Jesus would. God puts together teams that we wouldn’t ordinarily think to choose and when He does it there is unity. His teams seem to be better than the ones we might make ourselves. Each person that comes to volunteer with us has been prepared with gifts, talents and ideas that are wonderful and usually different from any person we may already have. We don’t only lovingly serve our refugee friends but we want to encourage and serve one another.

I am thankful for our volunteers. I am thankful for their time they offer as I know it is often a sacrifice for them. I pray that we will be a unified team of people seeking God in everything we do. We are not perfect but we eagerly and daily go after perfection as we seek to know and understand Jesus. I’m learning more and more about how to lead and my position isn’t always easy. I have more of a heart to be on the ground and serve those in need and serve my fellow friends in Christ. I pray that The Lord will keep teaching me knew things about Himself and that I will have courage while keeping my heart full and my eyes on my first love.

Thank you to those who support Asha’s Refuge. We need you.

One more thing. Yesterday I met with a few leaders at Trinity First Baptist Church from Olive Branch, MS. It was wonderful to get to meet with them and was encouraging to know that there are people out there praying for us. I enjoyed introducing a few of my refugee friends to the men from Trinity and am happy they were able to meet a newer refugee young man. Our time was sweet and I am praying and trusting that The Lord will keep connecting us to those who are like minded. The Nations have come to us church…what will we do?!

We are collecting metal lids to jars (spaghetti sauce jars, pickle jars, etc.) and metal bottle tops for a prayer and fundraising project we want to do this Christmas. You are welcome to start bringing them to us today. We will be creatively adding a picture of a refugee child, woman or gentleman inside these lids, painting them and decorating them so that they will hang on a small tree. These small trees will be delivered and set up at various places (churches, organizations and businesses) that have supported or want to support refugees through Asha’s Refuge. Our heart will be to raise awareness, seek prayer for refugees in our city and raise funds to help Asha’s Refuge continue assisting our refugee clients. In order to take an ornament we are asking for a donation of any kind. Your donation will support Asha’s Refuge so that we can continue to assist our refugee clients. You are welcome to write a card or letter to encourage the refugee you are praying for. We will be happy to deliver it to them.

We need crafty people to help organize and create these ornaments and trees. We will work with you to provide the supplies needed. It would be great to have small groups willing to help us decorate and put together these ornamented request for prayer and support trees. We are looking for about five, 3′, green, Christmas trees to start us off. We will certainly need lots of help with this project and most of the help will first involve making the ornaments. For more details, please contact us and let us know you would like to help.

My brother, Ron Jr., passed away last Saturday in his sleep. He was only 40, just four years older than me. I’m trying to return to my life after a week of shock and an array of emotions. I miss my brother and wish things could be and could have been different. The tragic experience has been hard but in many ways it has brought the rest of my family closer together. I’m still trying to process things, but there is one thing I know that I know and that is every single moment is precious.

I am reminded even more of why I am involved with Asha’s Refuge. Thank you all so much for your prayers. Thank you volunteers for stepping up and pulling together to help to make things run smooth in my absence. Thank you my sweetest daughter Kaitlyn and church family for providing meal after meal for my large family. Thank you Deborah Eaton, my dear friend whom I greatly admire, for taking lead and helping to pull things together. Thank you my sweet friends from all over the world for your prayers, your love, your “I’m Sorries” and your sympathy. I love you all and I’ve missed you Big (as one has said). I’ll see you all soon.

Update to this post, October 8, 2012

If you are baking cookies: no need to wrap them in pretty containers! We are doing that part for you. Bring your cookies to us in something we can throw away (ex: aluminum lined box lid) or a baking dish with your name on it so we can return it to you. We want all cookies packaged the same and will be supplying the containers to do so. Drop off your homemade baked cookies December 15th from 9-11am at our home church, The Church at Schilling Farms, 1035 Winchester Road, Collierville, TN.

If you are selling cookies: Thank you!! And, please be sure to turn in your preorders to us by December 2. Earlier would be helpful but no later than December 2.

If you want to purchase cookies: The assorted homemade cookies will make great gifts and are a great way for you to give back to a community in need at the same time. We suggest a donation of $10 per container of a dozen plus assorted mystery cookies, but of course all donation amounts are accepted. Please pay at the time of your order. Contact Erica Stubblefield at erica@ashasrefuge.org, Jamie Koch at jamie@ashasrefuge.org or Deborah Eaton at deborah@ashasrefuge.org to place your order. Sorry, our cookies may have nut products and are not suitable for those watching their diets such as gluten intake.

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Get ready to search Pintrest or find your favorite cookie or candy recipe to bake for our upcoming cookie exchange. We need people to sign up to bake several dozen of the same kind of cookie. Then, on a designated date and time (to be announced), we will ask you to drop off your cookies and we will all exchange them and pack them in cookie containers to create a delicious holiday homemade variety. We will then sell them. These cookies will make great gifts. Be sure to make copies of your recipe for us to share with others. Preorders are welcome and encouraged. All monies collected will support Memphis area refugees through Asha’s Refuge.

We need volunteers to help organize the cookie exchange, bake cookies, sell cookies and help work on the day of the exchange. Please let us know if you are interested in participating in this project in any way.

Update October 8, 2012: You may begin delivering your stock pots, rice and veggies at The Church at Schilling Farms, 1035 Winchester Road, Collierville, TN anytime the 2nd week of November through the 2nd week of December (November 11 through December 12). Don’t worry, your produce will not go old, we make regular visits to our clients and will deliver your items immediately upon your delivery to us.

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There is a story going around about an organization that had a heart to help feed a large number of Indonesian people after the devestating Tsunami in December 2004. After collecting a large number of bags of rice they dropped the rice out of airplanes over several villages of hungry people. Women, men and children hurriedly scurried around collecting the rice. They ate the rice. Later, many of these villagers began having digestive problems and terrible belly aches. It was discovered that the hungry Indonesian people had eaten the rice raw. They had no pots to cook the rice in! Sadly, a really sweet and helpful thing ended up hurting a little more than it helped.

We try our best to look at things from a ground level perspective. Often times we can understand better a refugees needs or circumstance if we take the time to get to know them by spending time with them in their homes. (We have also been able to build some sweet friendships.) This holiday season, we want to offer our refugee friends a little help in providing their families with some of their favorite foods (rice, pasta and dried beans). We WILL also, however, provide for them pots to cook the rice in as we continue our friendly and encouraging relationship.

Here are more details on how you can help: This Thanksgiving and Christmas we are collecting Stock Pots for refugee families and want to fill them with some of the common foods they eat and enjoy. Some of these foods are rice, pasta, dried beans, hot sauces, whole carrots, cabbage, celery, corn, potatoes and onions. Most refugee women cook large meals for their large families and friends and these items will surely help them out. Kroger or Aldi gift cards are also welcome.

Please begin collecting these items today; we are trying to deliver these to about 50-60 families in need. You may deliver your stock pots to my or Deborah’s home if you know us well enough to know our address or feel free to drop them off in the lobby of our home church, The Church at Schilling Farms, 1035 Winchester Road, Collierville, TN. You’ll see our Asha’s Refuge table in the lobby.

10/2012 Update to this post: Thank you Danny and Jil Rodgers for building and delivering us a beautiful wood picnic table. The children got to carve out a pumpkin on it to break it in! We know we will all enjoy it and so appreciate your time, financial assistance and effort on providing it for us! God is good and has worked through you. We love it! (See picture of our new picnic table at bottom of this post).

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Now that the playground courtyard used by Asha’s Refuge preschoolers is clean and neat, the children are enjoying it so much. It is a joyful thing to see them playing on swings and coming down the slides. This is truly a treat for them since they have little opportunity to play outside. While out there the other day, I noticed two additional things that would make it just about perfect. The first is a covered sandbox so the children can enjoy playing in the sand. I looked around and found a DIY link for just what was in my imagination: http://ana-white.com/2011/10/plans/sand-box-built-seats It has two built-in seats that turn into a cover when closed. That would keep the sand clean and dry for them. If any of our handy friends would like to try their hands at building such a sandbox, your work would be rewarded by a bunch of giggling 3 and 4 year olds.

The other thing that would be so helpful for the playground is a picnic table for the teachers. It would give them a place to sit while watching children as well as an outdoor space for teaching and projects such as painting that are messy indoors.

If you would like to donate one of these items, or you have a team that would like to build one, please let us know. Your donations of time, supplies and know-how would be greatly appreciated.

The last few days have been days that have really tugged at my heart. The things I have seen that involve refugees in need has moved me in such a way that I can feel myself leaping inside with a compassionate energy that overwhelms my spirit and causes me to want to take immediate action. But my hands are tied in many ways. My spirit is screaming inside and I don’t know what to do.

I enjoyed having Asha and her girls over for dinner Sunday night. I’ll say her name here because I think it’s important and okay. Asha is sadly planning to move to Nashville in October and I invited her and her girls (nieces) over for a good-bye dinner. She enjoyed having a night out. She spent some time in the suburb I live in which is away from the area of high crime in which she lives. She and her girls loved my neighborhood and seemed to wish they had a home in a safer place which is the reason she made a decision to move away from the city of Memphis. Asha has heard it was safer and better in Nashville.

Oh. I hate that I am struggling to write this post effectively. There is no way I can express my heart and my experience with Asha this weekend, but I desperately want to try. Remember, the Asha I am talking about is the Asha our organizations name is named after. (Read her story on the About Us Page, About Our Name). Also remember, Asha has no ability to use her legs. She has a wheelchair, but she will not let it keep her from being able to maneuver herself around. She will at any given moment hop down out of her chair and crawl around on her hands and knees to accomplish a task. (I got her, her chair…when I met her she was always crawling around on her hands and knees.)

And, this weekend, sweet Asha enjoyed preparing a fish, rice and vegetable meal with me and then helped me clean up the kitchen afterwards. Fortunately, Asha has learned to speak English some over the past three years so it has become easier and easier for us to communicate. We giggled and chatted as she cut up veggies and I taught her girls how to make sticky cocoa puff treats (sort of like rice krispie marshmallow bars). After dinner, Asha struggled through trying to express to me how she wished she could help clean the kitchen with me but how difficult it would be for her with no ability to use her legs to maneuver her body around the dining room table to help. My heart sank with a number of emotions. I believe The Lord told me what to do. I didn’t skip a beat to bring things for Asha to sit and do at the table while I rinsed dishes at the sink. “You CAN help Asha”, I exclaimed. She was so happy that she was able to help me clean off the plates, wipe off the placemats and the table. She needed to be needed. She even jumped down out of her chair to pick up rice dropped on the floor by our children. Her eyes lit up and face glowed with a smile as she saw herself able to help me. She made me smile a lot. I remembered how I would encourage Asha to be successful here in America the past several years, “Yes, you can! Try!” and she would try new things and difficult things to please me and challenge herself. Asha inspires me every time I am able to spend time with her. I cannot imagine my life not ever have knowing her.

After clean up, we went outside in my neighborhood and visited my neighbor and her family. She knows Marlo and gave her a big hug. Asha stopped for her personal Islamic prayer time a couple of times during her visit. Towards the evening we both laid back lazily on the couch and talked about her upcoming move and how far Asha had come over the past few years I have known her. It was soon time for me to take her home…this was the hardest part of the night. I had no idea just how hard it was going to be for me.

On the way home, I stopped at my favorite hang out, Starbucks to treat Asha and myself to my favorite drink, a warm Chai tea. She has seen me with a Starbucks cup often over the years and I wanted her to finally taste what she sees me drinking all the time. She loved it and was so beautiful and happy sitting next to me in my car enjoying it. On the way home we talked and sipped on tea as we looked around at the clean and safer looking suburbial neighborhoods we passed through. I could tell it was a sight she didn’t really know existed so close to the area in Memphis which she lived in. She kept saying, ” Beautiful, Jamie. Beautiful. And Wow.”

As we drove deeper into the city the scenery began to change. The quiet starry lit night suddenly began to change just as my car headed down a hill. It was then that I got it. My mind and heart raced. Tears began to flood my eyes. Closer to Asha’s Memphis home, the sky lit up with blue flashes of light that came from the many police cars roaming the area. Strange people were walking around everywhere. Groups of people were gathered in various places yelling and speaking something other than English or any other language Asha or I were familiar with. Oddly dressed women hung out on the corners of some of the streets. There were several people who appeared drunk or proudly drinking from bottles in paper sacks while roaming the streets. I cried. I was about to take Asha and her precious sweet girls home. This is why she wants to move, I thought to myself. Holding the steering wheel tightly as I drove deeper into the blue lit streets, I cried and as I cried, I tried to apologize to Asha. “Oh, Asha”, I cried. “I’m so sorry! I’m sorry I couldn’t do more. I’m sorry I couldn’t get you out of here”.

Asha knew I was upset. I’m unsure if she understood anything other than the fact that I would miss her. Her eyes watered. And I really let my tears loose. I didn’t mean to, but I couldn’t hold them back. I can still cry thinking on this. Why couldn’t I have gotten her out of the living situations she and her girls were in? Why does the government resettle refugees in such unsafe places? Why are they not better taken care of? It feels really yuck to me and I am unsure what to do. My heart aches for refugees in this situation even more. Tell me Jesus, what’s my part? Whatever I am doing with Asha’s Refuge, while I feel like I am using all that I have in me in Christ to accomplish it isn’t enough! In order that Asha’s Refuge is able to REALLY make some changes, we must have more funding that would enable us to purchase a safe house (houses) for refugees in vulnerable situations like this. I have been shown a plan, I just need real support. I…don’t know what else to say…church…am I missing it? Where are we?

Yesterday was a sweet day during and after our Thursday American Life and Language Classes. The classes went smooth. It was Purple Day for the preschoolers. They enjoyed playing on their newly spruced up playground (but ack-it rained, our grass has lots of weeds and the weeds are already growing). Our adult ladies sang and danced the Hokey Pokey (teaching body parts), read a three page story (something like “Sam can run.”), played the matching game (learning opposites) and talked about silly things grandmothers do.

I was grateful to have all the volunteer help and to watch the teachers animate themselves and be fully invested in helping and loving our refugee friends. I especially enjoyed working with Austin who is my 10 year old office assistant. Austin sharpens lots of pencils, makes copies, helps organize some of our donations, crafts and educational supplies and runs from class to class as needed to tell a teacher or student something. He is a great help to Elaine and I. We need a small desk to put in our office area for Austin. His teenage sisters and mother help us too. Addison works with our preschoolers and helps prepare the crafts each week. Ashlen and her mom, Heather, have committed to helping in the basic adult English class. Heather is our volunteer nurse as well and is always willing to offer her expert advice if needed. This family makes a super strong volunteer team for us. Thank you, Heather, Austin, Addison and Ashlen, we love you!

After class Gwen, Deborah and I separated and made several visits in the homes of our refugee friends. There were some that we’re sick and needed encouragement and a little advice. Gwen had a heart to meet a family full of middle school and teen girls who needed some hair help. She knows how to do African hair and wants to help this large family by teaching them about some of our great American hair care products and hair styles. I went with Scott, a long time friend of mine who now works at Catholic Charities, to help one of our students with a job interview at an alterations company. The meeting went well. Our client will meet again with this employer Saturday so that she can show them her sewing skills.

I am thankful today. God has been so good to us.