The days in my calendar are getting busier as the holidays approach. The volunteerism and activity of the community always picks up during this time of year. Asha’s Refuge tries hard to keep its focus on the compelling call that lit a fire in us when we first started this organization. That’s the heartbeat of Asha’s Refuge. We must remember our first love.

Our first love began with Jesus. Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s a great answer. But it’s the experience of a love relationship with Jesus that sparked a passion within us to share that kind of love with all people of all nations. I’ve felt hopeless before. I have felt alone and like giving up. My feelings surely do not compare to the hopelessness that I know many of my refugee friends have felt or may feel right now. I cannot imagine feeling not only hopeless but helpless. I cannot imagine not understanding how to move in a culture or society that I have never lived in and all on my own while in the midst of a crisis situation far away from my family. I cannot imagine not being able to hear and understand what people are saying about me. How hard it must be to want to express something important about my children or my own life’s situation but not be able to form the words necessary for others to understand. I would want help but wouldn’t know how to communicate the help I need or am willing to receive. I’ve seen some of my refugee young mothers and friends stand before me with a wide-eyed look that shoots straight into my soul that says, “Help me help myself”.

The only way Asha’s Refuge volunteers and staff have the ability to begin understanding how to really help our friends is to spend time with them. As we are with them things become obvious. One young mother has little food in her refrigerator. Two recently arrived young ladies are lonely and want an American friend to take time with them and help them as they learn all that they need to successfully resettle.  A mother of ten wants prayer for her husband and last daughter to make their way to the states quickly. A disabled friend mothers her two nieces and wants a better living situation for her family. Her brother wants a good education and then a college experience that will enable him to provide for his sister and his nieces.  Another young mother wants her much-loved daughter to be healed from hydrocephalus, a debilitating disease that has greatly added challenges to her resettlement process. An older gentleman wants to sit and converse, share sweet treats and sip on tea with a friend. A father of ten, who was once a deep-sea fisherman, wants to go fishing the southern way.  A new refugee needs to talk to someone she can trust about the tasks that are before her in this new city.  Another mother of two wants a good job and an apartment on the ground floor where she can better come in and out of her house with her disabled child.  A young lady who has no education works hard to learn English and juggles temporary jobs to help her single mother support a family of ten.  She wants a good education that will enable her to obtain a better job.  A young man who suffers from old gunshot wounds wants some pain relief and a permanent job.  A mother of four wants to learn English so that she can better help her children with their homework and possibly find a job to help out her husband financially. Another mother wants to make money sewing so that she and her husband can move out of the three bedroom apartment and buy a new house for their large family of twelve.  Her friend wants to get her children in a private Christian school. An older lady wants someone to visit with her, take her out of the house and to learn handwriting.  A young single woman wants to educate herself, get a really good job and even more understand truth. The hearts desires and needs of my refugee friends goes on and on.

Asha’s Refuge cannot fix all of the problems or meet all of the needs in the refugee community. We do understand that. But we can put forth our best and a genuine effort as we are led by the Lord to stand beside and be a friend. The needs that our friends have are most often not stuff but time. They seem to want us to take the time to sit and talk, have a meal or just enjoy a hot or cold drink together. They are always appreciative for the things we may occasionally bring them but it doesn’t really comfort them long or help them to move forward.

Sometimes our friends enjoy us taking them to the doctor’s office or grocery store, helping them to complete forms, or understand their mail. They very much enjoy doing crafts and having English conversation practice time. I think what they probably want most from us is a sincere friend relationship where they can give into the friendship as well as receive back those things that cannot be bought such as acceptance, laughter, care, understanding, empathy, strength, value, truth, encouragement and love. (This kind of love is not the same kind of romantic love between husband and wife. It is much different. It is care, respect and a heartfelt concern for. I had to clarify as some of my readers have questioned my terminology of “love” for my friends.)

As we approach the holiday season, I want with all my heart to be very sensitive to the real needs within the refugee community. I do not want to get lost in the fog of the busy American holiday life. I want to put my efforts and attention on those who may feel “stuck”, “alone”, “scared”, or “hopeless”. I want to follow God’s lead as I help my friends from other countries and remember, Jesus, my first love.