A large refugee family recently moved into a new apartment.  The management of her new apartment complex makes monthly drop-ins to inspect the apartment homes for cleanliness, organization, drugs, pets and to do pest control.  It has been said by existing tenants that if the manager catches their apartment in unsatisfactory condition then she will ask them to immediately vacate the apartment.  The apartments are generally occupied by tenants who have little money, but to the management of this property, that is no excuse for uncleanliness, bugs or drugs.

The mother of this large refugee family is worried about keeping her apartment up to the clean standard that is expected of her.  She has a four bedroom apartment (which is nice and big compared to the apartment they just came out of) and 9 children.  The amount of clothing that she has to keep organized into closets is a little overwhelming for her.  Right now, the few closets that she has are stuffed with donated clothing that she needs to sort through to see if any of it even fits or would be worn by her children.  So many times people will donate clothes to a family (literally they will drop them off to the family in bags) and not seem to care if the clothes will fit or be something a person in the family will wear.  I once watched as a family received a large bag of old bikini swimwear.  There must have been 60 swimsuits in that bag.  Needless to say, my Muslim friends take very seriously covering their skin and they would not have any use for these skimpy bathing suits.

The problem is that my friends want to please the Americans who stop by to drop off donations.  When families are new, sometimes there are many groups of American people who will want to come by to visit them and then bring donations.  My friends always receive the donations with smiles and open arms, take pictures with the donors, offer them a seat, drink and a snack (as their culture of great hospitality requires) and then stuff the large bags in their closets (if they have room).  Asha’s Refuge is trying to work harder with donors to encourage them to look through their donations and seriously consider if the items are items that our refugees will use.  We are also working with our refugee friends to let them know that it is okay and still considered polite if they speak up and tell donors, “No Thank You”.  As hard as we try to teach them that it’s okay to say no, they hate to disappoint Americans.  In fact, they often try to hang on to the donations so that they aren’t caught throwing them in the garbage.  The homes of my friends can quickly get cluttered with stuff and they don’t like it or have the space to lose.

Asha’s Refuge will continue to work with donors and refugees to help them communicate better with one another about their needs.  We try to request specific items that are needed for reasons described in this post.  Check our list of needs on the menu bar at the top of your computer screen labeled “Refugee Needs”.  Many of the needs are ongoing, such as toiletries and kitchen items.  We are so grateful for all of our donations but may sometimes need to say, “No Thank You”.